nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My bed smells like the plague
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
