I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
