Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
