our cab driver is having phone sex.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
