I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
