I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
