i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize