make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
