Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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