end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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