all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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