I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
