I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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