I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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