Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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