Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize