i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
