This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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