we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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