If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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