Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
