They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
