I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
