I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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