why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He shit in the fireplace
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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