so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
