my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Randomize
