barbara walters just said penis...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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