I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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