whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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