I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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