Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
id be glad to
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
