i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
