Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
