so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
