I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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