he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
