That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
