i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think I won the penis lottery.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize