and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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