My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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