The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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