I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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