I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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