those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize