just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
