a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
