just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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