i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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