i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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