Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
someone threw a dead crab at me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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