My Higher Power is John Stamos
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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