it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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