Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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