I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
