I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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