If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
