Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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