I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
