i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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