Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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